Zombiestuck
by Nerdatlas5
Summary: There is only one thing, in my opinion, that could make Homestuck better: zombies! This is my twist on Homestuck. John Egbert and his four internet friends try to meet up during a zombie apocalypse, despite being hundreds of miles away from each other. Meanwhile, a group of mutant zombies go on a quest to find out why their not stupid brain-eaters like normal zombies.
1. Chapter 1

A young boy walks down an empty road. The road is cracked, bleeding asphalt; and is stained with wrecked cars and blood. The boy didn't notice. He had bigger things to worry about.

He needs to get to the next city. He knows a friend there that will help him and his dad. His dad thought that they could handle the problem and hide out at home. But he was wrong. More and more keep trying to break in, and soon, their entire house will be overrun by those monsters. He had to go.

He enters the city limits when he sees the first one.

The undead asshole is missing an arm at the elbow. From the side, the boy can almost fool himself into believing it's just an amputee guy. But when it shuffles to face him, the other half of it's face is hideous. An eye has been rotted out, and the skin is a lifeless mottled grey. It is a messy eater, because the boy can see dried blood around its mouth, and it drools non-stop a nasty red mix of blood and saliva.

The young boy ignores his repulsion, walks up to it, pulls out a gun, and shoots it down. He applauds himself for being such a fucking badass and moves on.

He knows the gun was for his protection, but the boy doesn't like using it. Not that he feels sorry for killing off the zombies, but the gun just… doesn't feel like the right weapon for him.

Walking down the street, the boy notices that all the zombies are killed off already. He has a sneaking suspicion he knows who did it.

One dead guy lying on the sidewalk used to be a construction worker. In his tool belt was a hammer.

The boy is strangely drawn to the hammer. It really isn't all that special, and the gun would be a ton more useful, but he figures he should have a backup weapon. He reaches for the hammer.

"Blaaaargh!" the dead guy grabs his wrist and pulls him closer.

"AAAAAAH!" the boy shouts, pounding the guy's face in with the nearly acquired hammer. His voice echoes through the empty streets. The boy checks his wrist. No bite marks.

What was he thinking? That was an absolute waste of time and way too risky. But hey, the hammer fit nicely in his hand, like it was made for him!

Groaning in the distance forces him to look up. Uh-oh.

Zombies come from all directions, guided by the boy's scream. Shit.

He moves so his back is facing an apartment building. He pulls out his gun and starts firing. For a while, he thinks he's got it covered. Until he ran out of bullets. Frustrated he throws the gun at a zombie's head and whips out the hammer.

"Looks like it's just you and me now," he tells the hammer. Yup, he's crazy.

Even though the zombies get a little too close for comfort, the boy is surprised by the damage he is able to inflict with the hammer.

But there are too many. He can't kill them all, no matter how perfect the hammer is for him. He was going to die.

"Yo!" Someone shouts from above. The boy looks up. A faint outline of a person is at the top of the apartment building.

"Bombs away!" the person shouts.

Something is falling from the building and towards the boy. It looks like…

"Shit!" The boy dives underneath a nearby car and just in time.

The explosion shakes the car, but doesn't destroy it. The boy can hear zombie moans cut off by the cruel fate of TNT.

And then there is silence.

The boy climbs out of the car. It was a make-shift bomb that was thrown down. Pieces of metal is embedded everywhere. Zombie are either decapitated or pinned to the ground.

The young boy curses under his breath and enters the building. Someone has a lot of explaining to do.

Another young boy is waiting for him, about his age. This boy has some slick shades on, and is a cool kid. That is, if being cool is completely relevant during a zombie apocalypse. Which it isn't. So he is still just another young boy. Some adjectives for him will have to come later.

"Dude, what took you so long? We thought you had become undead chow," the formerly cool kid asks.

"As you can see, I was busy trying not to become undead chow. By the way, why'd you throw a bomb at me, I could've died!"

"You would have, died if I didn't save your fucking ass."

The original young boy is relieved, despite his near-death, to be here. Now they can go back to his dad, and then find their other two internet friends. He wonders how his dad will react when they come. Technically John hadn't had permission to come here. Will his father ground him? Not come with?

But the boy is certain that things will be alright. They'll live.

"John! Stop standing there like an idiot and get over here!" the other boy says from down the hallway.

The young boy, I mean, John hurries to follow his friend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi. Just a little commentary before continuing the story. First: while I may end up using the alpha characters, don't expect it because I have no idea how to explain them into the story. Second: there will be some similar points in the plot with the original Homestuck, but the general storyarc will end up being different. Somehow. I'm glad everyone's liking it so far and I hope you continue to enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it.**

A freshly raised zombie walked along a deserted road. He didn't shuffle like the other undead fuckasses because he wasn't stupid like them.

The zombie had messy black hair and pale grey skin, and if you looked close you could see two little nubs poking out of his skull, which he'd profusely deny that it even existed.

What is this zombie's name?

"Die you filthy son of a *****!"

The zombie turned around. A foolish male human was running towards him wielding a crowbar.

The zombie became angry. The asshole knew nothing about him and yet, here he was accusing the zombie of being a monster!

The zombie faced the stupid man. In one move he then grabbed the crowbar out of the man's hand, kicked him in the stomach, and lifted him using the other hand.

"LISTEN, BECAUSE I'M ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE. FIRST: I AM NOT GOING TO DIE. YOU ARE GOING TO TURN AROUND AND WALKAWAY BEFORE I MAKE A MEAL OUT OF YOU.

The man whimpered.

"SECOND: THE NAME'S KARKAT YOU LITTLE FUCK."

Karkat dropped the man but not the crowbar. He turned around and walked away, not waiting to see what the man would do.

Damn. It's not like he chose to come back from the dead. Karkat didn't even remember how he died.

But he knew one thing. He was not normal.

He didn't even like to eat humans. The thought of doing it actually sickened him. The whole meal thing was just an empty threat to scare the guy.

Karkat has been wandering around avoiding other humans and looking to see if he is the only zombie capable of higher levels of thinking beside 'brains!'

So far he has been fairly disappointed in both areas.

Karkat continued to walk. On either side of him was abandoned farmland. It's all he's seen for hours. Makes Karkat regret living in Wisconsin.

Up ahead he sees a farmhouse. He makes a note to pass by as quickly as possible.

Karkat had just reached the farmhouse when he saw a figure up ahead. Fuck!

Karkat, rather than having to deal with yet another person, jumped through the window of the farmhouse and hoped that no one was inside.

He landed flat on his ass and spent the next few seconds focused on the pain. Yes, zombies still feel pain.

Karkat was interrupted from his wallowing in pain by a female voice.

"4ND WHO DO YOU TH1NK YOU 4R3?"

Well this couldn't get any worse.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi. So some other stuff about this fanfiction:**

**Weapons are very easy to get here. I know that's not realistic, but it's easier that way.**

**Also I sort of made the location of John's and Dave's homes closer in distance.**

**I've been really busy lately, graduating and scheduling college classes and procrastinating on the internet, so I want to say thank you for sticking around. I'm really excited so many of you guys like this, and now that it's summer I want to try to update these more frequently.**

John followed his friend down the hall up flight after flight of stairs. Eventually, when John was huffing and puffing, and wishing he had brought his inhaler, they stopped outside an apartment. His friend turned to face him.

"Dude, don't be a wuss." He pointed down the hall. A figure with a blade in his neck was slumped on the wall at the end of the hall. "He was too slow. Easy pickings for the undead bastards. You had better shape up before that happens."

John would have said a smart comeback, but didn't. He couldn't think of any.

They entered the apartment. While John didn't like to tell his friend he was pretty awesome, he had to admit: he was impressed.

The apartment was a haven of technology. The latest computers, games, and robots John never knew existed were all under one roof. He spotted an epic turntable in the corner, which was one of his friend's hobbies.

The only weird thing was the puppets. His friend's brother was a "ironic puppeter" (not his opinion). The puppets all had long noses and big butts, and were completely naked in a slightly pedo way. Only one puppet was different, but that one creeped John out the most. Not on improvement from the naked puppets.

"Dave, you'd better not be dead. Be a shame to kill you," a voice shouted from another room.

His friend (who we now know is Dave) shouted back. "I wouldn't be stupid enough to die at the front door! I've got John."

John wondered if this was the ever elusive Bro. He had never met the guy. Never actually met Dave in person before either, but at least they spoke on the interenet. When the first signs of the apocalypse where showing up, mostly in third world countries; Dave and John's other friend Rose pretty much knew it would be coming here as well. He and his three other interenet friends (pretty much his only friends) all promised to meet up with their loved ones and survive together. Though John wasn't sure how they'll manage it; one friedn lives on a deserted island for crying out loud! But a promise was a promise.

"So now..." John started to say, but stopped. His hammer was gone!

John looked around. There spontaneously was a man next to him! The best way to describe him is "rad ninja". He's got an orange cap and wears a white polo and weird triangle sunglasses that belong in a manga rather than real life.

And he had John's hammer.

Suddenly he was gone again. Just like that.

"Hey!" John tried to go follow him, though he didn't know where the guy went. Dave stopped him.

"Let Bro go. He's probably gonna mess around and beef up your hammer. Come on, I need some apple juice," Dave said. John reluctantly followed.

As Dave rummaged through the fridge, John talked about their plan.

"So I know we were going to head to Rose's next, but I still need to go back for my dad," John told Dave.

"Why the fuck would you ditch your dad? You planning on killing him?" Dave said.

"No! He wouldn't let me leave so I had to sneak out so you wouldn't think I was dead and leave without me!"

Dave shrugged. "Have to run it by Bro, but it shouldn't set us back too far."

John nodded.

Dave began cussing profusely.

"There's no more fucking apple juice! Who would drink my apple juice?"

"Ah, you?" John said with a grin. He can have a snappy comeback. Sometimes.

Bro appeared by John's side again. He fast was he?

Bro hefted a great big, beast of a hammer.

"Woah, what is that?" John said.

"Yours." Was his only reply.

John took it. It looked a lot like the Jesters his dad loved to collect so much. His dad thought John loved the stuff, but they actually creeped him out. Eh, he means well. The hammer was brightly colored and had a squared head, with the rest of the hammer resembling a Jester's hat. It was awesome to say the least.

"I should name it," John said.

Dave rolled his eyes. "Don't be stupid."

"I'm not!" John thought a moment, channeling the hammer's essence into a proper name.

"I dub thee... the Warhammer of Zillyhoo!" He gave the hammer a flourish in the air. Dave groaned.

"You finished?"

"Yeah, let's go."

John was about to explain the new plan to Bro, but Dave shook his head. Bro heard it all already.

Dave threw some food into a backpack and they headed downstairs, with Bro in the lead. Once outside they had to get in Bro's truck by fighting their way througha crowd of zombies that crowded the apartment complex. They gather quickly and die slowly.

John was amazed by his new hammer. It was lightweight, but deadly, completely obliterating any zombie's head if it dared try to eat John. Which they usually tried to do.

The reached the truck. John was excited. The plan was underway. He's going back for his dad. He felt like the hero in an adventure game, and he could do no wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the comments and thanks for reading this fanfiction. I feel like I've been saying this a lot, but you guys have no idea how much this means to me as an apsiring writer. I'm also here to say that I am unashamedly making all my favorite ships canon here, though that doesn't mean I'm making it easy on the characters.**

Karkat reached for the decorative weapons that hung on the wall. It was a pair of sickles. Who decorates their house with farm tools? Stupid farmers.

Karkat steeled himself for a fight from fearful humans. Neither him or the girl moved.

She was about his age (or rather, his age when he died. Do zombies age?). She had black hair and was dressed in plain black, except for these big red glasses. Her skin was unaturally pale and lifeless, and it wasn't until Karkat noticed the horns that he realized she was as undead as he.

"YOU C4N PUT TH4T DOWN. 1 C4N SM3LL D34TH ON YOU."

Karkat lowered the weapons but didn't let go of them. He instinctively smelled himself. Nope, no rotting flesh.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SMELL ME?"

The girl gave him a grin that was already getting on his nerves.

"1M BL1ND STUP1D. 1 S33 W1TH MY NOS3 1NST34D."

Karkat thought he heard something like that from a documentary before, but he decided to shove that little info away until he was out of his current situation.

"NOW 1TS MY TURN TO 4SK TH3 QU3ST1ONS, SUCH 4S WHY AR3 YOU TR3SP4SS1NG?"

Her grin took on a much more sinister look to it. If it wasn't directed at him he might have found it attractive. But instead.

"I'M HIDING BECAUSE THERE WAS A HUMAN COMING DOWN THE ROAD WHO WOULD ATTACK ME IF THEY SAW ME!" Karkat shouted. "the stupid fuckers" he muttered under his breath.

"1F TH3Y 4TT4CK YOU F1RST YOU H4V3 3V3RY R1GHT TO K1LL TH3M," she responded.

Yikes.

"I WOULD, BUT I'VE LEARNED THE HARD WAY THAT MURDER JUST DRAWS MORE HUMANS TO YOU. I WOULD RATHER HAVE THE STUPID UNDEAD FUCKERS DIE GETTING RID OF THEM THAN RISK MY ASS."

"F41R 3NOUGH. MY N4M3'S T3R3Z1. 4ND YOURS 1S...?"

And just like turning off a switch she dropped her guard. Karkat found almost impossible to get over her weirdness.

Almost.

"KARKAT." They shook hands. He only just noticed that she was holding a cane with an ornate dragon head on top. Did she have that this entire time?

"SO HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN STAYIN G HERE?" Karkat asked.

"4 COUPL3 OF HOURS. M3 4ND TWO OTH3RS 4R3 MOV1NG ON TO TH3 N3XT C1TY BY N1GHTF4LL."

"OTHERS?" Was it really this easy to find others like him?

"Y34H, 1F YOU W41T H3R3 TH3Y SHOULD B3 COM1NG W1TH FOOD 4ND SOM3 OTH3R STUFF TH1S N3RD 1S LOOK1NG FOR. 1 M34N, 1F YOU W4NT3D TO."

An indefinate wait with a creepy but sute blind girl?

Well, things could be worse.


	5. Chapter 5

**Two chapters in a row! I'm getting better at this (that and I accidentally wrote this ahead of chapter 4 because I forgot where I was). Enjoy.**

John sat in the backseat of Dave's Bro's truck with all the swords and guns. It was a little cramped, but John didn't mind. He was too busy worrying about his dad.

John's house was ten minutes away from the city where Dave lived, in the suburb, and though the time went quickly, it still felt like forever.

Dave's bro was running through some type of offensive moves with Dave, making sure he knew everything. John never had a brother, so he didn't know if this was normal for a brother to do. Normal or not, Dave's bro was cool, and though he held an aloof demeaner towards dave, John could tell that Bro cared a lot for him and his safety.

When they were almost to the house, Bro turned to face John.

"Listen, you're going to grab your Father, only what you need, and get out as fast as possible. We need to be on the highway by nightfall."

John nodded.

The truck turned the corner, and John waited for his dad to come out quietly furious at himfor leaving.

But everything went wrong from there.

Zombies crawled about the front lawn, more than the usual one or two John would see. The front windows were smashed in, and John could hear groaning coming from inside.

John was in disbelief. "No... Dad!"

He burst from the truck with his hammer and ran to his house. There were shouts behind him and undead moaning in front of him, but he didn't care. He swung without care, killing zombies in his way. Jumping through the window he ran into the kitchen to find...

His dad. He was fending off sombie when he should be one himself. His body from the neck down was covered in rotting bites. Was his mind still there?

"Son...?" He called out. "You are alive. I would expect nothing less from a fine young man like you."

John began to cry. He didn't noticed more zombies enter the room. From the corner of his eyes, he saw zombies fall decapitated to the ground and a fast blur.

"Dad... I'm sorry," John sobbed. "Maybe we can save you.. if we can find a cure then..."

His dad shook his head. He limped over to the fridge, where he opened the fridge. Inside were two pristine cakes. One said "Happy Birthday" while the other had nothing on it. John's dad took both out.

He went back to John, and gave him the birthday cake.

"Happy Birthday son," he said with a smile.

John was still crying. He knew what the other cake was, and knew what his father planned to do. It was their emergency plan, if they knew they would die, they had agreed that the best way to go is by making sure they couldn't come back.

"Go. Leave with your firends," his dad said.

John shook his head. He wouldn't. He refused.

His dad nodded to someone behind him. Suddenly John was lifted up onto someone's broad shoulders. He shouted screamed, kicked, reaching out for his father as he was carried out.

His father pulled out out a pipe, and John's last image of him was one he used to see all the time; his father was smoking the pipe and lighting up yet another cake, an obsession of his..

Once outside, the person set John down. It was Bro.

"Let's move," he said. He felt a tug on his sleeve. Dave was trying to pull him away.

Then John realized, Dave and his Bro were with him. They were too close to the house. If he didn't get them away...

"We have to get away from the house now!" John said He ran without explaining why. Were they still behind him?

Surprisingly not. Both had passed him and were in the truck. John climbed into it just when the blast sounded.

The shock rocked the truck. Shrapnel thudded into the side. John slammed the door shut. He didn't realize it, but they were moving. He saw Dave turn around and say something, but for some reason John couldn't hear what.

He looked down numbly. In one hand was the hammer. In the other, the birthday cake. It was his thirteenth birthday today. He and his dad were going to celebrate it.

John looked up, now Bro was shotuing something. Why couldn't hear? He noticed his vision going fuzzy and red around the edges before realizing something was wrong. By then the strength the maintain consciousness was too strong. His last thought was "I abandoned my dad."


	6. Chapter 6

John had weird dreams. Don't ask him why, it just this one took the cake ( birthday cake still lay in his lap.

In this dream John was attempting to prank his dad, which wasn't unusual, only it never works out well for John. His dad is a master prankster, and can sniff a prank out from a mile away.

Only in the dream, his dad fell for it. It was just a stupid trick can that sprayed confetti when you opened it, a weak attempt at pranking on John's part. Yet, when his dad opened it, the confetti shot out like a cannon, blowing his dad to bits.

Terrified and confused, John ran away. He ran and ran;he ran across the country and over the Pacific Ocean until he happened upon Jade's home. There, when he looked inside a window, he saw Jade crying, always looking over by the fireplace for some reason. The fireplace was out of John's view, but before he could try to see what was over there, an invisible force, a wind, blew him into the air and on a cloud.

John was surrounded by clouds, all white and puffy excpept for one. It hung over his head all black and ominous. When he looked up at the cloud though, he saw the strangest thing.

There was a zombie. But not just any zombie. It was this weird short, mutated thing with little horns sticking out of it's head. It was trapped in a glass tube, the kind from those cheesy sci-fi flicks Jade likes. The zombie was trying to escape.

When it turned to face John, it noticed him.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING THERE?" it shouted angrily. "GET THE FUCK OVER HERE AND HELP ME YOU FUCKASS!"

Before John could respond, he felt a tug on his shirt. He was pulled out of the cloud, falling; falling to the ground below him. And right when he was about to hit it-

"John wake the fuck up! This isn't even ironically funny. If this is just a stupid prank of yours I will kick your ass."

John abrubtly woke up from the dream. Rubbing his eyes open, he looked around the now familiar truck. Dave was hovering over John. Dave's bro was driving, but had his eyes on the rearview mirror. Why were they acting so weird? And why did it feel like his brain was pounding on his skull?

John sat up. "I just had the weirdest dream," he said as he felt his head, there was a bandage wrapped around it. "There was Jade, and a talking zombie, and I even accidentally killed my dad in it-"

John froze. His memories came back. He wished he could go back to sleep and forget everything, but reality beckoned.


End file.
